I got more medicine and assorted ointments to absorb the hematoma. I also received a further referral to an ultrasonography to confirm this diagnosis.
In February 2010, the ultrasonography showed a lesion of 9 x 6 x 15 cm. The doctor who performed the examination seemed shocked and immediately asked me how long I had it. He told me that the lesion could be a hematoma but he cannot rule out the possibility of a cancer lesion.
He took me straight to the oncology department, I was horrified. Up until this point, I had no prior experience with an oncology department. Like many people in my situation, I realised that any visit an oncologist could possibly mean a death sentence. The Doctor reviewed my medical results and referred me to the computed tomography department to rule out the worst.
While waiting for the examination results I experienced great trauma, my life depended on it. As I was going to collect the results, I was terrified, however, after talking to doctor I felt so relived. He said that it appeared to be a hematoma. With this diagnosis I returned to the orthopedist who then added some physiotherapy sessions to the medicine I was already taking. It was intended to increase the absorption of the lesion. Unfortunately, it did not work and in the meantime, the pain worsened and the ‘hematoma’ was growing every day.
After another consultation I was then referred to a vascular surgeon. He added another treatment to my recovery process and made it clear that if it did not help the hematoma would have to be removed surgically.
Around Easter 2010 I began to have problems with walking and the pain was so terrible I could not even sleep at night, the painkillers I was taken simply did not work.
After the Easter holidays I revisited the surgeon as I was unable to cope with the pain any longer. The lump had now increased to 28 cm in size.
During my next visit to the hospital, the doctors were as shocked as the ultrasonography doctor was before. They decided I needed to consult the doctors at the Oncology Center in Warsaw to rule out the possibility of cancer.
CANCER CENTER WARSAW… No - it was a hematoma!!!! I received the tomography results confirming that. It was supposed to be the most precise appliance of modern medicine. I do not even remember anything else they were telling me, I was just sitting there absent, confused and terrified.
During the next few days I travelled to Warsaw to consult an oncologist. He requested a biopsy and referred me back to the Zielona Gora Hospital for the procedure. In the meantime, I had found out that my application for a bank position was successful and I was to start my new job just after Easter. However, instead of two weeks training in a spa resort in Warsaw, I was being admitted to the surgery ward of the Zielona Gora Hospital.
I spent two weeks in hospital, underwent two full surgeries and was awaiting the results of the biopsy. When the results came back, I heard the worst… Liposarcoma, which is like winning the lottery one that you most definitely do not want to win. Just one case in tens of thousands and it happened to me. There was no time to waste. I needed to begin treatment in the Center of Oncology in Warsaw immediately. My life depended on it.
Soon after this I was admitted to the Clinic of Soft Tissue and Bone Cancer. After quick consultations and medical examinations which verified that no metastasis were found, the decision to start chemotherapy was taken. Forgive me for not going into the finer details as regards the chemotherapy itself, as I believe that only a person who has experienced that kind of soul destroying treatment would fully understand what it means to get through it.
The doctors in Warsaw ordered three, one week sessions of chemotherapy treatments with two week breaks in-between, when I was to go back home to recuperate. After the first chemo session the tumor had remitted a little and the pain had gone. However, during the second treatment, both the size and the pain had returned. The doctor then told me that further chemotherapy would be pointless. If I did not agree to the amputation of my left leg above the knee, I would not survive.
One of the doctors then grabbed his pen from his pocket and just like that, showed me the place where they were going to amputate my leg.
It is extremely hard to describe the feelings one experiences in a moment such as this… Ironically, when I was going to hospital to have the ‘hematoma’ removed, my biggest worry was concerning the size of the scar that would remain after the operation. When I heard the news, news that I would never have expected in a million years, I honestly think that at that moment I was felt indifferent. The only thing I really wanted then was for the pain to be gone and the rest, I knew was in God’s hands. At that point I had been praying to God just as much as I was cursing him for the fate he had for me.
The surgical procedure had been planned for 17th June 2010.
After the second chemo session, while I was at home waiting for another trip to Warsaw, the wound started bleeding during my daily bandage change. The Ambulance took me to the Zielona Gora Hospital where doctors could not decide if they should perform the amputation there or transport me to Warsaw for the operation, as my life was in serious danger. After further consultations with doctors in Warsaw, the decision was made to transport me by air to the Oncology Center in Warsaw where a team of doctors were waiting for my arrival at the surgical ward. We later found out that the air transport was not possible due to technical reasons, a Polish reality. They then decided to transport me the next day via ambulance. While travelling the heat rose to 35 degrees so when I reached my destination I had a 40 degree fever. The team of doctor’s had been kept on standby for two days already, so in just 3 hours everything was ready for the operation.
At 9pm of the first day of the 2010 World Cup my operation began and was completed shortly after midnight. The pain I experienced when I woke up was so excruciating and unbearable, that I continually passed out. The morphine and other painkillers were just slightly easing the pain.
For the next few weeks in hospital the only thing I remember is the pain I experienced. Moving myself just a few centimeters towards either side of the bed was a huge challenge and sometimes I needed the majority of an hour to gather enough energy to make it.
Once arriving home there was more uncertainty – were there any cancer cells around the point of amputation? Fortunately, the results of the tests did not report any discovery of unwanted cells. Further chemotherapy that is usually applied to the patients for a year after such an operation was abandoned since it is pointless with my type of cancer.
At this point I started my long and slow process of getting back to a physical and, more importantly, an emotional balance. Even though I did not get out of it in one piece and it is really hard for me to perform everyday tasks that are so simple and easy for a healthy man, I am happy to be alive. I am a living example of the fact that with enough strength and determination you can move a mountain and overcome any obstacle in life.
They say that the hope dies last….
